Politics, Cocaine & Anal Sex
The Life and Politics of Andre Boisclair - By Victoria Van Dyke

Quebec separatists have never looked so naughty and cool at the same time.

The new leader of the Parti Quebecois, the Quebec separatist party in Canada, is Andre Boisclair: An openly gay cocaine addict.

He has no problems when people ask him about his sexuality. He's fine with that, and so am I.

But when asked about whether he still uses cocaine, or why he uses it, he stomps out of the room every time.

We can therefore assume that he still uses it regularly.

And because cocaine boosts sexual pleasure, we can also assume he uses it regularly while putting his golf club into the Glory Hole.

Meaning he snorts a line of the good stuff right before giving his lover a big sausage up the ass.

Do you know why its called the Glory Hole?

Because its tight, and FEELS really, really great...

Therefore, anal sex while high on cocaine must be pretty damn good.

Andre Boisclair is also very young for a politician.

He's 39, handsome, and we're not sure whether he's the bitch or the butch. Maybe they take turns.

Myself, as a lesbian, I think its great that Quebec has decided to follow an openly gay leader (as opposed to Stephen Harper who is openly homophobic and opposed gay marriage rights).

What I don't agree with is the cocaine usage.

And I certainly don't agree with the idea of Quebec Separatism.

Why, you ask?

Well, lets just look historically at other examples of countries that have been split in half or into parts:

  • East & West Germany: West Germany grew powerful because of its economic ties to the rest of Europe and North America. East Germany stagnated under a thick-headed Russian-imposed government.

  • North & South Korea: South Korea also became economically powerful, due to its close and open ties to the United States, Japan and China. North Korea is now known as the "hermit kingdom" and suffers under a dictatorship, with very little outside influence.

    If Quebec separated from Canada and became its own country, its economic power would dramatically slow to a stop. Quebec, as a singular nation isn't large enough to support itself economically. Right now, Quebec receives handouts from other provinces and has a very high welfare rate. Becoming a separate country would be ultimately a bad economic choice.

    Furthermore, it would alienate Quebec from the rest of Canada. It would not be a bloodless conversion. Half of the people in Quebec WANT to be Canadians. They don't want to separate. Trying to force a separation could start a civil war within Quebec.

    Historically, this is accurate. During the 1960s and 1970s there were many car bombs and letter bombs in Quebec. Separatists were considered to be terrorists.

    Over time people have come and gone. New leaders step up to the plate. The terrorists of the past are gone (or mellowed out) and have been replaced by calm faced people like Andre Boisclair.

    Except he's not really calm. He's a cocaine snorting party animal.

    He's even snorted cocaine while in the House of Commons inside the Canadian Parliament building. I admit, who wouldn't want to be high while listening to Canadian politicians argue? Still, its irresponsible. He should do his snorting at home.

  • Gay rights, fabulous. As a lesbian, I am all in favour of that.

    Separatism? Whoa boy! Slow down! How are you going to pay for that?

    In case Quebec hasn't noticed, they have a sizeable part of the National debt, including their own provincial debt. Decades of over-spending in Quebec has resulted in a huge debt-load which the Quebecois people will have to take with them. The rest of Canada is not going to pay for it.

    Add to that all the natives within Quebec's borders. They aren't about to separate either. They are protected under federal Canadian laws. Most of northern Quebec is sparcely populated federal land, occupied mostly by Native Canadians.

    Newly-landed French-speaking immigrants is another issue. They came to Canada to become Canadians. They didn't come to end up being forced into becoming Quebecois, or alternatively be forced to leave Quebec (which is notoriously anti-immigration).

    Overall, immigrants and natives make up a very small portion of the roughly 50% of the people in Quebec who want to stay Canadian. There are plenty more English and French-speaking people in Quebec that don't want to separate. What will happen to them?

    Will they be forced to move to other parts of Canada? Or fight for their right to remain Canadian, perhaps even setting up a green-card system for working within Quebec?

    And what happens even after they separate? Well, its obvious to me. There will be a new re-unification party.

    And so there would end up being a process in which Quebec eventually rejoins Canada (especially after they realize how bad their economy is without the rest of Canada to help boost it).

    Its a tough love situation.

    If anything, the really dumb thing is why the PQ even exists. Its not even a national party. They shouldn't be allowed in federal politics. They should be a provincial only party.

    And so the new Andre Boisclair is a real problem. He is young, attractive, popular... but his recklessness could become a major downfall for separatism. Its a very risky game that he is playing. The separatism issue is really a gamble. He could potentially destroy Quebec's economy if he succeeded in bringing about a separation of Quebec.

    Or he might drown Separatism by taking unnecessary risks. Risks that might put an end to the separatist movement.

    Perhaps thats a good thing.

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