|Tips on Kissing
The Sex eZine - Love & Romance
Kissing is an art form and it may takes years of practice to master it. Don't expect to start kissing like Don Juan without investing in hours of lipsmacking (which makes sense why teenagers practice it so much). The kissing experience is different for each of us but the basic fundamentals of kissing remain the same.
Looking for the Right Moment
Before you even start you need to wait the right moment to kiss the person in question. An awkward pause in the conversation, some privacy (or at very least nobody staring directly at you) are some basic essentials to timing that first kiss.
If you are walking/driving your lover home you will want to keep pace with the person and stay by their side as much as possible without crowding them. First kisses are often good-bye kisses, but there is a very important IF: Your love interest may not want to kiss you.
Which means you want to stand close to him / her, and allow them to send visual signals (like moving closer, licking lips, applying lipstick, that "look" in their eyes, etc). Your ability to comprehend these signals will tell you when to make that move.
Some first kisses also occur while dancing, watching a chick flick together (action flicks tend to get men excited), holding hands while walking and a variety of other prime moments.
If you are planning to be kissing for a good long time you may want more privacy and even a place to sit down (hence dark movie theatres work well).
Flirting & Courtship
Depending on the situation you may want to aim lower and go for a kiss on the cheek, hand, blowing a kiss, kissing their nose, etc. This may be a good choice if the person you are with isn't comfortable kissing on the first date. A surprising number of people are very sensitive and conservative about their kisses. They may not expect kissing until the third date.
If you're a guy you should always follow up the first kiss with a phone call within 24 hours. No email. P-H-O-N-E! Girls want to be called almost immediately after such an event so they know you're serious about them and not just playing games.
If you're a girl stay patient. Guys don't think the way you do. The guy might be a player, so you need to wait a decent amount of time before trying to contact him. If you do need to contact him email is preferable. Phoning might make you seem desperate.
For both sexes you want to make it obvious that you're interested, but not desperate. This can be tricky. Depending on how old you are (or how long you've been in long term relationship) you might have to have a talk about whether you are actually "going out", "steady" or not.
When kissing you should be thinking about nothing else but the act of kissing. If you're trying to take off her bra / his belt simultaneously you may have trouble (but this is still fun to try).
Generally speaking your eyes should be closed, although some couples do enjoy kissing with all their eyes open. You will tend to enjoy it more with your eyes closed because it allows you to focus on your physical sensations.
Don't go straight for the French kissing unless the mood is right for it. Start slowly and let it progress. If your partner's mouth opens then it is an invitation to start using your tongue.
Use your hands to keep a firm but gentle grip on your lover. Good locations include the waist, neck, back and the back of the neck. If you have more privacy you may want to grip their chest/breasts or even massage their groin with one hand (although this implies that you're looking for sex).
Use your hands when kissing. Many people simply waste them when kissing by using them only as some form of supporting themselves. You could wrap them around her waist, use them to clutch her back or massage her scalp. Wherever your hands are, use them.
Take your time and enjoy the act of kissing. It can last for hours and extremely passionate kissing can even cause orgasms without penetration.
Try to kiss your lover like its the first kiss. If you treat every kiss like the first kiss it is sure to be passionate and enjoyable.
If you've never kissed anyone before the first kiss can be pretty scary and intimidating. With time however you will become much more confident and discover it is no big deal.
Some people develop weird kiss fetishes such as kissing upside down (as per Spiderman), nose kissing, ears, necks, making hickeys. Some of these can even be painful as some people are sadists and sado-masochists as some people enjoy receiving and giving small amounts of pain when they kiss (the most common kind is neck hickeys).
Making hickeys or "necking" requires you to nibble on your lover's neck a bit like a vampire, but gently. More sucking than biting is involved. Be careful when you do this because some people don't like marks left on their body (because their parents might notice, etc).
You may wonder why French kissing and hickeys are necessary to learn. If all you did were lip kiss you would get bored pretty fast. You need to explore each other lips and tongues (and sometimes face and neck) in an effort to keep it fun and interesting.
You want to be able to savour and enjoy the experience, and it is expected that your speed, level of passion, your breathing and heart rate will rise and fall during the entire process. Let it flow smoothly and take your time to occasionally catch your breath.
Glasses, Gum and Teeth-Braces
You may want to spit out your gum, remove your glasses so they don't get bumped or smudged. Not much you can do about braces but they usually are not that big of a deal.
A much bigger problem is tongue rings or studs (which can get caught between teeth when French kissing and be quite painful, bad breath, disgusting teeth and smokers.
If you discover your love interest has bad breath or bad teeth and the thought of kissing them revolts you then you are probably better off not kissing. If they are a smoker the thought of kissing their ashtray lips may just turn your stomach.
Sexual Harassment & Assault
Kissing someone against their will is a form of a sexual harassment and assault. If they don't want to kiss you, they don't want to kiss you. NO MEANS NO, even if its just a kiss. Don't bother to haggle and discuss the issue, it is pretty obvious that this person either doesn't like you that much or is feeling uncomfortable about the situation.
She / he doesn't want to kiss right now. Period.